#it’s been bothering me all week
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Clara x Luke
Event Tags: @choicesmcappreciationweek (Day Six: Historic People)
My Art Ish Thing Tag (Choices Edition): @storyofmychoices @aallotarenunelma @twinkleallnight @dutifullynuttywitch @loreofyore @peonierose @trappedinfanfiction
#choices desire and decorum#choicesmcaw25#my art ish thing#i polish nothing#my oc: clara milsten#okay but who the fuck does she look like?#it’s been bothering me all week#every time i look at her#i just know my subconscious had someone in mind but i don’t know who#my firstborn to the person that can place the face lol
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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check out the shirt i got for my birthday :)
#digital art#fool hound#furry#thats a picture of me LMFAO#i was gonna post this ON my birthday but i finished it real late and was too tired to bother and then i just. forgot. lol!#i turned 26 on monday#ive been dissociating all week!#the shirt is actually too big for me unfortunately so i think what I'm going to do is either use it as a lounge shirt or make it into a bag#if im feeling REALLY spicy i might try to alter it to fit better
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The discussion of whether bree kissing sel was cheating or not is very tiring. however, i am sure of one thing: if nick kissed another person the fandom would've called him out on it
edit 1: one thing i want to add is that this whole debate is surrounded by bias from both breenick and selbree shippers. on one hand, breenick shippers consider them to be in a relationship and this is why most of them consider it to be cheating-esque. on the other hand, selbree shippers think bree and nick only have a situationship going on and they are so ready to dismiss the situation as not cheating because that would cast a shadow on their ship's first kiss scene (which is understandable tbh)
edit 2: what really bothers me about this debate is how easily people seem to dismiss bree and nick's relationship and nick's feelings. idk why i'm surprised tho. it became clear the first day i got into this fandom that most people don't care about them or nick
#i'm sorry but given how most of the people in the fandom are sel stans and a lot of them don't like nick i'm sure this would#be the situation#i'm sure i will regret posting this#but it annoys me how many people wouldn't admit that while it might not have been cheating what bree did was not right#she is not perfect she is a teenager and her and nick might not have put a label on their relationship#this is why it's understandable and the situation didn't bother me so much#but people are so ready to dismiss all of it as if it's nothing because bree and nick only knew each other for a couple of weeks#it doesn't matter how much time they knew each other it will still suck for nick when he finds out because they care a lot about each other#legendborn
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me being nb and feeling bad that I think Taash’s whole story is a mess. I want to like them. I do like them as long as I’m ignoring The Family Friendly pirates, the irl modern words for sexuality right down to a codex entry, ‘anyone can leave the qun’ despite you complaining about it and your mother who is clearly a victim of it enough to smuggle you out, the forced binary choice to choose either embrace Rivaini culture or the Qun like ?? The cringe growling….. What is happening? Did they really need to be written in the whitest queer person way possible?
#this isn’t even me hating Taash bc overall I love their personality and friendship and interactions#they have the sort of story that is so bizarre from Weekes#like I’m not going to bother them but I’d love to know their thought process and reasons behind all these choices#like surely EA didn’t hold a knife to them to do this so what happened#and ngl I’m also like ‘eh. ok’ about them and Harding it’s just so Nothing feeling despite me bringing them around together#saw concept art Taash and what do u mean they could’ve been a cool rogue :(#instead we got….qunari warrior. again#prawn posts
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/51ccc48feac289c123316c55f161f9be/2c6f2147ccbcc76d-d6/s540x810/1a8111aeb7a5989dec5f07df1f9b6c2b803fbe86.jpg)
It’s time to make coasters from a bunch of HSTs from the box of scraps I got!
I’m aiming for 4” ish square, and I’m making A Bunch so I can give them to my endocrinologist’s entire staff because they have hugely improved my quality of life. Like. By leaps and bounds. I’d make them all full quilts if I knew how many people worked there but that’s maybe a little much so quilted coasters it is! And maybe some quilted mug cozies!
#sewing#sewing wip#scrap management#coasters for endocrinology#I had a stress related flare up yesterday#that got to the point that would (prior to my current meds) take me like 2-6 weeks to recover from#and I am fine! mildly sore and I’m pushing water and salt a bit today to be on the safe side#but I’m not dizzy or shaky or nauseous or exhausted#as soon as I took my evening dose of steroids yesterday I was fine!#tired but fine and able to rehydrate with no problem at all#which is an absolutely phenomenal difference and I am so so grateful to this endocrinologist#who is my FOURTH endocrinologist#but somehow the first one EVER to bother to test my SED rate and for autoimmune antibodies#it’s been twelve years but hey at least he’s doing the tests#and the funny thing is it’s looking increasingly like my problem is not endocrine related like I thought it was#anyway he’s the best and I am envious of his flannel shirts
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trying to get kiki's characterization right (at the same time as navigating a falin who's gotten into a tense situation with people she doesn't know very well AND without the assistance of laios or marcille) is highkey kicking my ass ngl
#a little creature#i did just settle on a comedic icebreaker end to the conversation instead of going the full blown drama route bc i got tired#but now im wondering if that's a copout#like wouldn't falin react more strongly to this considering how i built it up???#but it's been like two months and im at 8-9k and im TIRED i want this chapter to be done#i can't think about it anymore. im settling on quirky joke and feelgood moment followed by quieter conversation later on#and if it seems like falin has a crush on kiki because of the way im describing her. so be it. i can't be bothered trying to control that#we're all gay here you know what you were signing up for.#also sorry i'll get around to answering asks and messages in a bit i just legit.#didn't realize how many days were passing. insomnia + time blindness hardcore got me these past few weeks
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Jitterbug
#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it#and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago#bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall#im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot#i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T#because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks#at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better#its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh#in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats#mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year#i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping#my art#myart#doodles#personal#diary
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Get well soon,dude! 💙💙
Thank you Kyle! 💖 I hope I've passed the peak of it today, because today's been the worst of the last few days. Ears plugged and super dizzy 😵. I hope to wake up tomorrow feeling a lil better.
#my therapist coincidentally texted me saying she had to cancel a few days ago#bc she's been sick all week#startttting to think she might've gotten me sick the week prior#one of the only places i didnt bother masking in close quarters so. silly me#2024 has not been my year man#3 different infections and bouts of antibiotics and now this nasty ass cold#grrrr....
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Not to be dramatic, but waiting for a professor to grade my paper makes me feel like a court jester waiting to see if I'll get executed by the king for not being funny enough.
#The fact that my paper hasn't been graded in over a week doesn't bother me at all#(I am lying)#mod rambles
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hi guys. i think i’m crashing out
#chatter#got diagnosed w a neurological disorder today and cried a little and then just. had to go to work#and i didn’t think it would bother me so much because i’ve been dealing with it for 7!!!! years#but at the same time hearing my doctor tell me that there’s a good chance i’ll be dealing with it for the rest of my life really hurts#and i feel really bad because when i got off the phone with the doctor all i wanted was to call my mom but when i was home last week#i kept thinking about leaving#also i think partially i’m so out of sorts because i haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks but i caught my coworker’s cold so i still can’t go#anyways. i’m touching base w a new psych tomorrow. everyone cross your fingers for me please
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Aftermare Week 2024
Day2(6): Destroy(ed)/(Re)Building
Geno was hanging upside-down from the Tree of Feelings, just above where Nightmare was. Nightmare was reading a book he got from the library. Nightmare's thoughts wandered, he couldn't help but think on how the last year went. The villagers, particularly the ones who were very hostile to him, were starting to actually give him a chance. He can't help but to believe that Geno arriving here was the cause of it, though it took a while for this to happen. They still bullied and hurt him after Geno showed up, but Geno had started protecting him. Something that Dream never-... No, it wasn't Dream's fault. Dream didn't know it was happening, or at least didn't know the extent of it. He wished he said something before, now, as things were getting better with both Geno and Dream advocating for the villagers to stop abusing him(he wasn't sure if that's what he'd call it, but Geno insisted that's what they were doing to him). He's incredibly grateful for Geno, even if he went and told Dream after the last time the bad villagers attacked him when he didn't want him to. He couldn't deny that it felt better to have his brother know about it now, though, not after the results that came afterwards.
The villagers no longer unofficially banned him from entering the village with or without his brother(they never said he wasn't allowed but the way they treated him pretty much implied it), some of them were still wary of him, but they were starting to warm up to him it seems. Some of them even apologized for not helping him sooner, they were some of the ones who weren't mean to him, though they never helped much before, if they knew at all. He certainly didn't want to dwell on how many people might not have known what was happening to him, or who knew what was happening and didn't care.
Overall, it's only been good ever since Geno arrived, they even started dating a month ago. Geno still misses his brother, but he's been happy here.
Noticing the position of the sun as being roughly noon, Nightmare was about to ask if Geno wanted to grab a bite to eat for lunch. But before he did, there seemed to be a sudden flash of light. And as soon as the light faded and he could see again, there was what he could only describe as a tear in the air beside Geno. He immediately dropped the book as he jumped up, and Geno, still partially blinded, falls off the branch trying to right himself. Just as Nightmare was about to catch him, the tear started to drag Geno in. He grabs Geno's scarf in one hand and tries to reach for his hand or something to try to keep him from going through the tear. Neither of them know what's on the other side, and they don't want to find out.
Unfortunately, it was not enough. Geno was pulled through, but not before his scarf was pulled from his neck, leaving Nightmare with only his scarf. Nightmare and Geno had one last look at each other, tears in their eyes as they realized this was the last time they'd see each other and horror at what was happening, then the tear in space closed.
Nightmare clutched the scarf as he broke down, and soon after rain clouds have gathered. Dream returned after it started pouring and as soon as he saw how distraught his brother was he ran to him. He nearly slipped on the grass, but caught himself. He noticed Geno was nowhere in sight but his priority is his brother right now.
"Brother, what's wrong? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where's Geno, I don't see him? Wait, is that his-"
"He- he's gone, he's gone and I-I couldn't- I couldn't *hic* save him. He- I-..."
"Brother, Night, please, slow down. You have to breath, okay? What happened? Geno's gone?"
He took a few deep breaths, and tried to explain what happened, having to pause between sobs. Dream started crying along with him as what happened sank in. Geno, his brother's partner, his friend, the one who ultimately helped both of them in different ways, was gone. He protected his brother when he was unable to, even when he wanted to so bad, but didn't want to pressure his brother when he didn't want to talk to him about what was happening with the villagers. He helped him set firmer boundaries with the villagers, not letting them overwork him like they were, and in the end he and Nightmare were feeling closer than before now that they weren't keeping things from each other. All they could do in this moment was mourn Geno, as they hugged each other in the pouring rain.
~meanwhile~
Geno landed on the other side of the tear very disoriented. Upon trying to stand he noticed that everything was dark, an almost unfamiliar type of dark. He also noticed the familiar glitching over his right eye socket. Then a small presence ran up to him on his blind side and almost knocked him over.
"Agh! What the- Frisk!?"
"You were gone for so long, where were you!?"
"I-"
"Wait, you're crying, are you okay? What happened?"
"Woa-"
"You're not hurt, are you? Where's your scarf?"
"Stop!! What do you care, anyway!?"
"... I'm sorry. I was just... I'll go."
Frisk left to the only patch of grass in the Save Screen, though they were still worried about him. He was gone for so long, and they had no idea what happened to him. They wanted so bad to comfort him right now, as much as they knew that they probably weren't who he wanted near him. They did a lot to him, so they knew he wouldn't trust them. But he's clearly going through something right now.
Some time later, Geno had gotten up, but still felt defeated. So he was back in the Save Screen, huh? Was this what he deserves? Is this the karma he deserves for not protecting Papyrus that first Genocide route? Doomed to be stuck here with the kid who started it all? To do nothing but watch as Chara continues to Reset and do whatever they want? Is he really not allowed to be happy? Even once?
He shakes these thoughts out of his head for now, he can have another mental/emotional breakdown later. He looks over to Frisk, and regrets what he said earlier. As much as he wants to stay mad at them, his year with Nightmare and his brother Dream has given him a lot of time to process and think over what he's been through, and also think about Frisk and their ability to Reset. He can't help but think how the power could have made it too easy to want to do things again and again. He doesn't think he can forgive them yet, but he can certainly be a bit kinder to them.
He walks over to them and moves to sit beside them.
"Hey, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. You didn't deserve that."
Frisk, surprised, just stared at him for a moment. "What?"
"You didn't deserve to be yelled at for worrying about me. I shouldn't have said that. I was, am still dealing with another loss I just had. To answer your earlier questions, I had been transported to some other world very different than ours. One that seemed to have humans and monsters getting along, well, for the most part. And there were two brothers I met there, they were called Dream and Nightmare. They helped to take care of me, even when I was... stubborn. The reason for me crying was because I had been forcibly taken from there when I had been there for a year and had grown pretty close with the two, especially one of the brothers, Nightmare. I helped them as well, Nightmare was being abused by the villagers there because of a stupid assumption or rumor that they thought was fact. Put a stop to that nonsense, and also got the two brothers to start telling each other these things."
Frisk let him talk about all that happened, and couldn't help but feel both happy and sad for Geno. It seemed like he was able to be happy where he ended up, but the fact he had been dragged back here..., it was so unfair.
Eventually, they both started talking about how they could maybe fix their situation without actually destroying the timeline like Geno was initially planning to do. His time with Dream and Nightmare had given him time to think about what he would've even accomplished by doing so, and how unfair it was to everyone else that he decided their fate for them. So he had decided that he would figure something else out if he was able to come back on his own. Except that was when he was kinda wanting to go back to Papyrus more than hanging out with the brothers.
"Okay, so what can we do about Chara? I think we both can agree they can't be allowed to keep killing everyone."
"Yeah, what about still bringing them here? But I don't know what we could do after that."
"That's a start, at least. Let's see what Sans is up to."
As he says this, he opens up a window to where Sans is, after a moment to remember how he did it in the first place. The window shows Sans in the Judgement Hall, and observing for a while longer reveals that Chara is back to killing the entire Underground. 'Seriously? How many times has this gone on since he was gone? Don't they get bored of doing this over and over?'
There's nothing left to do but wait, Geno remembers that it's easiest to get Sans here while he's unconscious or a Reset happens. And soon enough, Sans gets hit, dies, and then the Reset happens. Geno snaps his fingers, and Sans is in the Save Screen.
Sans was confused, where was he? As he turns around, he remembers where this is. It's been a long time since he was here, and he was starting to worry about Geno with how long it's been without him summoning him into the Save Screen. And, wait, where is his scarf? And last he remembers, he wasn't fond of Frisk, yet he seems to be rather chill with them.
"Heya, been a long time, huh?"
"Yeah, it has been a while, sorry for disapperin' on ya, there was apparently an unplanned vacation I was sent on."
"What? I thought you couldn't leave this place?"
"I thought so too, but whatever it was that transported me there also made it so I was fine. I don't really know how that worked. But then after I had been comfortable there, I was transported back here, and for all I know, I'm still not able to leave here without dying. But, enough about that for now. I wanted to talk to you about how we can stop Chara."
Sans let out a disappointed sigh, "if this is about destroying our timeline, it's still a no."
"Oh, no, no it's not that, actually. Though I guess it can still be a backup if we really can't solve this a different way-"
Frisk decided to speak up, "We're not destroying our timeline, Geno."
"So then, what was this new plan?"
"There isn't much of a fully thought out plan, but first step is to bring Chara here. But we don't know what step two would be because I don't know how we can stop them completely."
"Ah, so we're just brainstorming things, then?"
"Pretty much."
"Hm, well, what if..."
~Timeskip to after the events of Aftertale happen and Geno is on the Surface with everyone(I'm lazy and have to progress to the rest of the story without this basically retelling all of the climax of Aftertale. Just pretend that the end of Aftertale had this kind of background with Geno not attacking Sans after getting Chara and Papyrus into the Save Screen. Also I'm just leaving this in here cause why not XD)~
Geno looked out at the sunset atop Papyrus' shoulders. He can't say that he regrets anything he's done, aside from making things harder on Sans. It's all worth it to see Papyrus again, and knowing that there won't be anymore Resets is very reassuring to him. And this view, as much as he's seen it before, is probably one of the most beautiful sights he's seen of the Surface. It's no view from that hill of the large flower field in the moonlight in the other world he spent a year in, though.
... He misses Nightmare and Dream. He can't help but wonder what they'd think of this. Surely they miss him, too.
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT, NEW BROTHER? YOU LOOK A LITTLE SAD."
"Oh, it's nothing. I just miss a couple of people is all. You remember the story I told you about the two brothers in the other world I was in?"
"OH, YES. I MAY NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT I KNOW THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU. I'M SURE YOU'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN SOMEDAY, I JUST KNOW IT!"
"Heh, I'm not sure about that, but I sure hope so."
"NYEHEH!"
As time went by, Geno grew accustomed to life on the Surface alongside his two brothers, Sans and Papyrus. But even as he was happy to finally be by Papyrus' side, he couldn't deny that he missed Nightmare terribly, sometimes to the point he refused to leave his room. He was starting to wonder how he could visit that world. To go back there. The urge to see Nightmare and Dream again only grew as time went on.
So, after a year and a half on the Surface, he starts testing out the limits of his Determination. After all, Determination had kept him from dying and also got him into the Save Screen, so why wouldn't it be able to transport him to a different world? He had to try it or he would never know. So he's in the basement experimenting with Determination, and he mixes an unstable sample of Determination with a stable sample. It has the unfortunate reaction of destabilizing completely and explodes in a blast of piercing white light.
When he next gains consciousness, the only thing he sees is white, blindingly white nothing. He immediately squeezes his eyes shut, trying to adjust his eyelights to his new and unfamiliar surroundings. "Where am I? How...?" Squinting his eyes open a bit, he slowly realizes he isn't having aftereffects from the blast earlier, but that this is indeed a white void. Completely different than the Save Screen, and yet somehow just as lonely.
"Hello? Is anyone out there!?" He listened as his voice echoed in the space, how big was it? The echoes kept bouncing between invisible walls and only faded about a minute later, was it a minute? It must have been, surely. He tests the "floor," and finds that he's definitely on something solid. And starts wandering in what he thinks is a straight line, hoping to find some kind of, well, anything really.
~Timeskip, Geno is now Error, and doesn't remember anything prior to becoming Error~
It's been four years since Geno had disappeared, and while he still misses him, things are alright. Nightmare and his brother, Dream, now had a proper house near their Tree. Some of the villagers even helped build it with them. It has three bedrooms, one for Dream, one for Nightmare, and a guest bedroom. Though both of them knew the real reason they insisted it had three bedrooms, it was for Geno should he by some miracle come back to them. They knew that, by now, it was less and less likely to happen. Dream had been trying to be positive about the possibility, but even he had doubts, and Nightmare knew that. Nightmare was inconsolable for nearly a month after Geno's disappearance. He also started avoiding the villagers again for a while, too, anxious that they would start going back to how they treated him before Geno was there.
Thankfully, the villagers understood that he was going through a very hard time, and gave him space. Some had also gifted him little treats and notes to try to help comfort him, most were given through Dream though, but there were a few occasions that someone was able to give their gift to him in person. It took a while for Nightmare to get used to the idea that the villagers wouldn't hurt him and put his anxieties to rest on that. He's always seen wearing Geno's scarf, too, it brings him some comfort.
Today was a nice day, the sun was out and it was warm, but not unbearably so. Dream was out entertaining the village children while he was taking a walk and hearing out a villager's issues and trying to help them to solve/deal with them. It was going well before a portal opened up a few feet behind them. Nightmare turned to it and froze. It was like the tear that took Geno away.
Turning back to the villager, he said, "I think we're going to have to talk later, I have to deal with this." The villager nodded and ran off.
The portal was blocky and didn't hold a solid shape, shifting and also had a strange sound coming from it. As he was studying this portal's strangeness, someone came through it! It closed behind them, and the strange sound faded, but didn'tstop. It seemed to also come from the stranger. Looking at the new stranger, they looked so odd, even for a monster. Their bones were black, oh- wait, their fingers were yellow and red, and so was what he could see of their spine. And the legs are also red it seems- Wait, stop staring, it's rude. And they were wearing a red sweater with a midnight blue jacket and black shorts and... black slippers? Actually, no, that's not the weirdest thing someone can wear, and even then, it's not really a problem. The weirdest thing was that their entire figure looked like they were... not fully together?? Their figure had square chunks of them jumping in and out of their body, and the word 'Error' was randomly placed along their body.
He was going to ask them their name and what they wanted when he noticed that they were looking frantically around them, visibly distressed and on the verge of a panic attack. He saw the signs, and having had panic attacks before, knows how to deal with it. He was just going to have to hope that what helped him out of those panic attacks would help this person.
"Hey, it's okay, here, breathe in, two, three, four, hold it in for five seconds, and breathe out for six. Ready?"
He helped the stranger through the panic attack, and thankfully they're now calm. Both of them are now sitting in the grass, Nightmare had guided the other down so that if they were to pass out they wouldn't fall from standing up. They were currently looking at the grass like they had never seen grass before, so that concerned him a bit. The sound seems quieter.
He cleared his throat before speaking, "Uh, hey, how are you doing? Feeling any better?"
They looked up at him, "Y-Yeah, I'm feelin-ng better now, tha-thank you-u. You look v-very ni-ice. Very colorfu-ful."
Nightmare, caught off guard, felt his face heat up. "U-uh, thanks? You're pretty colorful yourself."
"You look kinda-a familiar for some re-reason, but you're the f-first person I've me-met. So I don't kn-ow why I would recogn-nize you."
"I do? That does sound odd, huh? Ah! I had forgotten about introductions. I'm Nightmare, what's your name?"
"Oh, I'm, uhh-uh..." He squinted his eyes in thought as he tried to remember his name. "... Error, that'ssss it. Yeah, my na-name is Err-ror."
"It's nice to meet you, Error. Where did you come from? You were pretty freaked out when you got here."
"I'm n-not too sure? I don't know w-what the place is-s-s, but there's ju-ust, nothing in there? Hold-d-d on I think I can open a port-tal back there? I'm pretty new t-to this though..."
Error concentrates before waving a hand through the air in front of them, and the strange noise that's been there gets stronger again. The portal opens, and Nightmare can only see white. He can't see anything else in there, and looking for a while is starting to hurt his eyelights.
"Is that really what it looks like? It's just white. How long have you been in there?"
"Yeah, it's pre-retty barren, b-but it's kinda al-l I know? I thi-ink? I don't rememb-er anything else bef-fore I woke up there. And I-I don't know how long-ng I've been there, it just felt li-i-ike a very long time? Or was it a short tim-me? I'm not sure..." He closed the portal again.
"Would you like to stay here? We have a spare guest room you can stay in. My brother wouldn't mind you staying as you get used to this place if you do stick around. It's better than white nothing, right?"
"Hmm-mm, I guess I cou-ld. There's s-s-so many colors her-ere, it's... nice, I thin-nk."
Nightmare thought that last statement was a bit odd, but then again, the guy was in an empty white void, for lack of better terms, for however long he was in there. Colors would be a bit of an adjustment to someone who was devoid of most colors.
"Alright, let me guide you there, then. I'm going to have to tell Dream about this. I think you'll like him."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he's good at making friends. I'm getting the hang of it, but still like to not be around too many people at once. It's this way."
Nightmare waved him over, leading him back to his and Dream's home. On the way back Nightmare couldn't help but think about how Geno first appeared. It's rather odd how two different people managed to arrive in this place from somewhere completely foreign to him. It couldn't be related, right? No, it's just a coincidence.
Soon enough, they arrived. 'Oh, looks like Dream returned from the village early. Better for us, I can tell him everything now than wait until he gets home later.' Nightmare waved at Dream, who waved back.
Dream had fun with the villagers' children, but had decided to head back for the day. Once getting back, he realized his brother hadn't returned yet, so he went to get some food ready. He was still learning to cook from Saphire, the village's tavern cook, so it was going to be sandwiches for today. She was nice, and had offered to teach both of the brothers as a way to help them have their own means of providing food for themselves. It was so that neither Dream nor Nightmare had to rely on the villagers' generosity to avoid any possible future issues that came from any of the villagers taking advantage of them.
After making a couple sandwiches, he went outside to wait for Nightmare. He decided to busy himself with tending the flowers in their front garden. A few minutes later, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, and knew instantly it was Nightmare. Looking over to the forest, he saw Nightmare with a new person. He waved back at Nightmare after he waved, but was intrigued by the new person following him.
As they approached, Dream noticed more details about the new guy, including his strange appearance. He seemed rather relaxed before he saw him, but now seemed nervous. He also kept looking around at everything, almost like seeing the world for the first time.
"Hi, brother! Who might this be? Make a new friend?"
"Hi, Dream, this is Error. Error, this is my brother, Dream. He just appeared out of a portal a little while ago. He came from some kind of white void? And I offered for him to stay here instead of wherever that place was. I don't know much about the place, but I can't help but feel like that isn't a good place to live long-term. It's okay if he stays, right?"
Dream blinked in surprise, that was not what he expected, but quickly agreed. "Of course he can stay! Oh, I made some sandwiches, I should make a few more, I hope you like them!" And he ran into the house to make a few more sandwiches, leaving Nightmare and Error outside.
"Is he a-always that energeti-tic?"
"Most times, yeah. Is it too much for you? I can let him know to calm down a bit. He's just excited to meet someone new, is all."
"N-No, I think it's alri-right. Reminds me of-f...." Error pauses, trying to think of what Dream reminded him of.
"... You alright?" Nightmare asked, concerned.
"Hm? Oh, yea-ah, just thought that y-your brother reminded m-e-e of someone, but I don't r-remem-mber who. It's fine, though. Wh-What are these 'sandw-wiches' that he was talking abou-out?"
"Oh, it's a kind of food that consists of different ingredients that is put between two slices of bread, or sandwiched."
"Oh, that's kin-n-nd of cool. I'll try-y them, then."
Nightmare and Error entered the house, and while Dream was making more sandwiches, Nightmare showed their new guest the spare bedroom and pointed out his and Dream's rooms and let him know that if he needs anything at night, he's welcome to let either of them know. Nightmare just hoped that if Geno does show up again somehow, by whatever miracle, he wouldn't mind him giving Error the room he hoped would be Geno's.
He fidgeted with Geno's scarf later, after they had all eaten their fill of sandwiches. Though he will admit Error's method of eating was... unexpected(why did he have five tongues??). But it was a nice early dinner. It had surprised him just how late it was when he brought Error back, though, it didn't seem like it took that long. And there's still the question of what that strange sound that seems to be ever-present around Error. Something he'll have to ask another time.
So this is it! It is done! Ok, there are a couple of ideas I played around with in this. First, Dream and Nightmare have a very slight effect on the weather, if Nightmare and/or Dream are very distraught, it will be cloudy and possibly start raining. If either or both of them are very happy, it will be more sunny, but not hot. The other idea is that the Multiverse is not on a universal timer. A lot of AUs go at different speeds, and it's kinda rare to find any two AUs that are both the same speed and are at the same time of day as each other. And the Anti-Void is already known to be outside of any of that and fluctuates in time.
@bluepallilworld @shinechermont
The only thing I couldn't decide at first was if Error was already able to leave the Anti-Void before coming to Dreamtale, or if it's the first time he's left the Anti-Void. Ultimately, I decided to go the route of him first leaving the Anti-Void into Dreamtale. He will go back every now and then and explore the Multiverse from here, but he will always come back here. He won't realize that the reason is that he subconsciously knows this place was a home to him before he became Error, but that will happen in time.
Also this would have been posted on day 2 if I finished everything on time, but it's now in a kinda limbo where it's both on time but also late XD
#my writing#aftermare#Aftermare Week 2024#geno!sans#nightmare!sans#passive!nightmare#uncorrupted!nightmare#dream!sans#aftertale!frisk#< they actually make an appearance in here! they were not forgotten this time!#papyrus#cause he's also here#hope that the all-caps doesn't bother anyone#but that's also just how he talks#this one i felt needed to go under a cut it's so long#also yeah i could have made it so that the villagers never changed but i was already thinking that they could change#cause it feels a bit unrealistic that every single villager was cruel to nightmare or tried to take advantage of dream's kind nature#there had to be a few that thought how the others were treating the brothers were unreasonable#but maybe were too scared cause some of the others might have been in positions of authority?#but maybe tried to show kindness in their own way#maybe tried to give Dream more food for Nightmare or tried to give Dream a break#and i could see others asking for help from dream with things that were not intentionally taking advantage but still had that effect#idk i honestly think this also gives a slight positive note on the outcome with the villagers that has in the last few days been sad#not bashing the bad outcome with the villagers and the idea that even with Geno there it wasn't enough. it's very cool#but I'm bringing a more hopeful approach to it#doesn't change the fact that Glitched Apples doesn't have a happy ending for tge villagers tho#you all will eventually get that from me#whenever i continue that#for now you get this#enjoy! :)
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Might be a dumb question, but how did you get the bravery to start posting!?
I’m going to be so honest, it actually took me forever to get my first writing piece out of my drafts- But since I’ve always really liked writing for myself I figured it wouldn’t be too bad writing for other people too while also writing things that I enjoy. Also this community is really nice and supportive so it didn’t take long for me to get comfortable with posting! Thank you for the ask anon! :D
#Duck asks#not a stupid question!#But pretty much after I saw that people actually read my writing I was so happy-#I figured it wouldn’t be so bad to keep on going and I was right!#Even if it took me nearly two weeks to get the first chapter of restoration out of my drafts-#But it’s all good now!#I think I’ve been embarrassed so much in my life that it wouldn’t bother me anymore if I write embarrassing things#That’s probably another factor#Because cringe can’t hurt me#But thank you for the ask anon!#love you guys ❤️
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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#sorry for not getting to my asks ive been teaching 9-4 all week and doing stuff after .. i.e. class my moms bday and roommate touring#which is working out hORRIBLY#so far everyone has either cancelled or. ghosted me#other than a guy who loves the place but determinedly said he can't pay utilities#and we need someone by the 1st#and my landlord is hounding me so badly#and i have to drive two hours tonight#right after 4#to get to my mom's bday dinner with family#i am#it's just been a marathon#and im so upset abt the roommate thing#esp since ive been blamed for not doing enough by my currently. disabled roommate#who has to take care of herself ofc#but doesnt do any chores and didnt help at all and I SAT IN THE ER WITH HER FOR HOURS#its just. i am so tired. and can't afford rent without someone. and will have to beg on my knees to my landlord to give us more time to fin#someone.#and it will work. but. at what cost#i seriously wish i moved#geez sorry to rant im fine and will be fine.#its just a lot#the two hours of driving tonight is really bothering me#caitie blabs
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gross eye talk
both my eyes are bleeding and it kind of hurts and its been getting worse every day and like??? do i go see a doctor. or. what do i do here
#mysterion.txt#like. doctors are expensive and i dont want to bother my parents (probably wont take me anyways) but like. idk should i worry#do i need to drink more water?? will that make the problem go away???#idk ive just been lying in bed watching south park and doing my homework all week#minus the two days i was bedridden sick and couldn't do anything but take naps#dude give me a break the year just started!!!!
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